Thursday, November 29, 2007

Reality Bites

Reality Bites

She Died Because I Lied

Those were the days when I was enjoying my life. Right now, I am going to finish my class 12 board exams. Those were the days of class 8, when I came in contact with the smartest, quietest and loveliest girl-Ritu. She was everyone's heart-throb. We both had got admission on the same day so we became friends easily. For more than six months we remained good friends, but after that I started feeling that I loved her, so I proposed to her in front of the whole class and, to my great surprise, she accepted my proposal by saying, "I love you, too". From that day on we came closer to each other, I found her more beautiful than ever before. She was a loving and caring soul. We were very frank with each other.

When we reached class 9, on the very first day of the session, she came to my house. No one else was at home. We were all alone and we lost control. First we smooched and then went all the way. After all this, she told me that she is suffering from brain tumor and it was in the last stage. After that I really started caring for her. I never said anything which could hurt her. I always encouraged her to live, but she had a negative attitude. Her morale was down and she had lost all interest in life. She was always pondering about her death. But she always said that she loved me and to her I was the only one who cared about her-at school and at home. She always gave me more importance than anyone else. No one except me knew that she was ill, and that was because she had made me promise not to tell anyone. I loved her a lot. She was my first love. Because of her I was regular at school, because of her I never bunked classes. One day, I went to school even though I had fever. In class when she touched me she said, "You have fever! Why have you come?" When I said, "Just for you, Ritu", she started to cry.

One day at school somebody told Ritu a rumor about me. At first she didn't react, but later came to me and asked, "How many girlfriends do you have?" I got angry with her and, forgetting all about her illness, I said, "Four more." She left the classroom and the next day she didn't come to school. I had forgotten all about the previous day, so it didn't really strike me that it could be the reason for her not coming; I thought maybe she was sick again. So, after school I went to her house, but she refused to meet me.

After a week, on Sunday at 8:00 pm, Ritu's mom called me. She said, "Ritu is no more. She has given me a letter for you, so please come and take it." I was so shocked that I didn't take my annual exams. After a couple of days, I went to her house to get the letter. It read like this: "Dear Roshan, You were my first and last love. I loved you from the core of my heart, but you didn't care for my love. On that day Sarbani told me that you have lots of girlfriends. I did not believe it, but when I asked you, you said you had four more. This proved how dishonest you were. Well, now you can do what you feel like." -Ritu.

After reading all this, I cried for hours. Not a day has passed when I have not cried. Since that day, every day of my life is a cheerless day. Ritu, I want to tell you that I had said all that because I wanted to see you get jealous but you took it the other way. Only God knows how much I love you. Ritu, you were the only girl whom I cared for, whom I loved from the very core of my heart. From that day, I hold myself responsible for her death. If I had not said what I said to her, she would still be alive.

Roshan Pratihast, New Delhi

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